Inevitable Change
by Janet Fraiser
Summary: It's right there and all he has to do is reach out and grab it.


**Author's Note:** Written for the Sam/Jack Stargate Monthly Oneshot Challenge over on tumblr, this oneshot is based on August's First Words Challenge. The prompt was 'It was finally there, right in front of him' and I had to tweak it a bit to make it work with my preference of writing in present tense. I made myself write a little differently than I normally do so I'm not sure how to feel about the end result, though I'm hopeful it flows well enough. This is unbeta'd so all mistakes are, as always, my own.

 **Disclaimer** : I own nothing recognizable.

* * *

It's finally there, right in front of him.

Everything he's wanted, everything he's dreamed about since that first verbal tussle, everything he's kept tucked away in his heart for years - it's right there and all he has to do is reach out and grab it. He's gotten comfortable with what they have, with the almosts and could've beens and if onlys, and here it is his for the taking. If only he can get over the irrational fear that once it's his it'll change - they'll change - and Jack's not sure he's strong enough to accept that.

-SJ-

"I've requested a transfer."

Her words catch him off-guard and make him pause mid stride. The hallway is empty, thankfully, so no one's there to witness his misstep but her and it's not like she hasn't seen him stumble before. But this, this is so unexpected that he can't believe that he's heard her correctly. Coming to a full stop, he turns and stares at her, his eyebrows raised high enough that their Jaffa friend would be proud.

"You did what?" He stares at her with wide eyes, certain she's joking. Not that it's a funny joke to be made.

"Requested a transfer," she repeats, tucking her hands into the pockets of her BDUs. When he continues to stare blankly, she shrugs. "I'm tired of doing what everyone else wants, sir. It's time I do what I want for a change."

"And what's that?" he asks and part of him dreads the answer.

"I've been offered a posting at the Academy, teaching advanced physics and wormhole theories." She smiles and he's nearly blinded by the brilliance of the expression. "General Hammond approved the transfer, effective immediately."

He runs a hand through his hair and it's all he can do to stop himself from grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. When he finally finds the words he wants, his tone is sharp. "You can't leave SG-1."

"I can, sir, and I am. I've found a replacement, Captain Lewis from SG-9, and he's joining your next mission."

"How long have you been planning this, Carter?" His words are like steel. "Didn't want to cause a scene so you snuck around behind my back and switched things up without even telling me - that's a foul and you know it. Were you even gonna tell me or just slip off and hope I'd forget about you?" He regrets the harsh words when he sees the hurt in her eyes but he's too keyed up to stop himself from continuing. "Would you have even bothered letting me know at all?"

He's never seen her direct this much anger his way and for a brief moment, he's glad he's managed to avoid this particular glare. As soon as he sees it it's gone, though, and she just looks unbearably sad. She shakes her head slowly, her crystalline eyes full of an emotion he can't quite place and then she's walking away. He considers going after her but he can't get his legs to follow simple orders.

-SJ-

The sharp knocking at his front door makes him groan. Dragging his tired body from the couch, he tosses the television remote on the cushion he's just vacated and grumbles the entire way to the door. Throwing it open, he's not surprised to see Janet standing on his porch with a glare in place. His sigh is one of resignation as he steps back to let her past and when she whirls around in the foyer, he's already steeled himself for her anger.

"You're a self-centered, selfish asshole, Jack O'Neill." Her hand comes up to stop him from speaking and it's only the years of friendship they have beneath their belts that keeps him silent. "You're an arrogant, pig-headed son of a bitch who doesn't deserve her." Her tone melts from anger to disappointment and it stings. He stares at her until he's sure she's done and when he speaks, his confusion is evident.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Janet."

"Obviously."

"Look, I have a headache the size of Texas, a fridge full of beer, and a day off from gating across the galaxy so if you don't mind, I'm gonna-"

"She transferred for you, you idiot." Janet's voice cuts through his rambling and her words cut through his heart. He stares at her with wide eyes, shaking his head before he can even breathe.

"She what?"

"She transferred for you," she repeats softly, reaching out to grab his upper arm. "The transfer off base but still within driving distance, that was for you and you have your head too far up your ass to see it."

-SJ-

It takes him a week to go see her. Sitting in the darkened cab of his truck, he watches from across the street as she pulls her SUV into her driveway and gets out. She's in her dress blues, the daily uniform of staff at the Academy, and even the yellow glow of the streetlights can't hide her exhaustion from him. He waits until she's inside her house before he makes his move, slamming the truck door shut and crossing the street quickly before he loses his courage. She answers the door after his first knock and the look on her face is enough to make him want to beg her forgiveness. They stand there, staring at each other in silence until she waves him in.

"Janet?" At his nod, she huffs a quiet laugh. "I knew the whole 'I can keep a secret' thing was too good to be true."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asks, his hands clenched into fists in the pockets of his leather jacket.

"You didn't give me a chance to," she retorts and he accepts the well-deserved anger with a downward glance. When he looks up again, her face has softened and he realizes that now, right in the moment, he has a choice to make. He can tell her how he feels - how grateful he is that she's not under his command any more - or he can tell her that the others miss her and want her back; both are the truth but he recognizes the moment for what it is. It's finally there, right in front of him and all he has to do is find the strength to accept the inevitable change.

"Thank you," he breathes, making his choice. Her smile reassures him that no matter what, no matter how much chaos and change this brings, they'll face it together.


End file.
